My writing life this month: part business as usual, part aha moments. Plus an extended reflection on the parallels between writing a first draft of a memoir and undertaking a PhD research project.
Great post Ellen - very relatable as always. I feel much the same about my current WIP - have done so much less than I thought I would in this year (and it is so so much less than you have achieved). Anyway - keep visualising that book with your name on it on your shelf!
Also - I now want to know more about that footnote immediately please 🙏🏻
Thanks Kate 🥰 This writing thing has so many lessons to teach about perseverance and patience and sheer bloody mindedness to keep going doesn't it?
Now onto the footnote! Briefly, because I might write about it in more detail next month: my great-great-great uncle Thomas Wells was convicted of murder and hanged in 1868 when he was just 18 years old. He worked as a porter at Dover Priory railway station and shot the station master in the head after being disciplined for having brought a gun to the station to scare off birds. The papers at the time portray him as a cold-blooded killer but the story my gran always told was that Thomas was 'a poor young boy' who the station master had treated badly for a long period of time.
Oh my goodness what a tragic story that is. I feel bad for pressing you for the ‘spoilers’ now 🫣. But if you are able to write about this it really does sound like an utterly compelling story and look back at this young man’s life. 18. He was still just a baby. 😢
I’ve been fascinated by his story for years - it’s partly the shock factor of the death penalty and his age, but also the sense that there’s a story there and that maybe I might be able to piece ‘the truth’ together somewhere between old family stories and the court proceedings.
I love this idea Ellen - It would be so powerful and it sounds like you have the stamina for the research with your background.
I recently read His Bloody Project which purports to weave together an ancestral story like this with court testimony / fictional retelling - although I think it’s pure fiction in the case of Burnet’s work. Have you read it? If not - worth a look.
I had not come across His Bloody Project, but have immediately requested it from the library - sounds right up my street and some clear parallels with my g-g-g uncle. Thanks Kate!
We have *so* many parallels Ellen! I had also intended / hoped to have the first draft of my memoir done by the end of this year… there’s absolutely no chance of that happening. And I’ve only recently come to know that this is ok. Deadlines and goals are important, but also, I’ve never written a memoir before, so it’s learning while doing - and that’s going to take me as long as it takes. Permission slips flying all over the place 😂
And also, congratulations! You are doing so well! Writing 70,000 words and submitting to lit mags and getting published - so much worth celebrating!
I'm there with you Ingrid and it's so comforting to know I'm not alone! Yes to the very recent realisation that it's ok not to achieve the intention we set ourselves at the start of the year. And a full body YES to the idea of learning while doing - I hadn't thought about it in those terms, but that's it exactly 🙌
Thank you for the kind words also - somehow things always seem like less of a big deal to me once I've achieved them, like they become inevitable in retrospect.
It’s lovely to be sharing Lily’s Compelling Memoir with you Ellen, and thank you for writing about your PhD and memoir writing process.
I’ve been working on a possible PhD proposal after being told I had identified an ‘original’ line of inquiry earlier in the year that my memoir would be part of. Both processes seem to be a spiral of being broken down, making break throughs, then repeat, but like you I’ve recently relaxed into the memoir writing unfolding in it’s own timeframe. It’s all new and my brain seems to be constantly re-configuring. I just need to make better notes for the potential commentary!
I’m registered for Lily’s Writing Workshops starting in November, Lindsay’s Writing From the Archives and working with Anna too. It’s exciting to let this part of myself out to play fully, finally, and see where it leads.
Thanks Jaimie - I'm loving Lily's course so far. I was hoping to sign up for her Writing Workshops starting next month also, but the budget doesn't stretch that far at the moment. Hopefully next year!
I recognise that feeling of your brain constantly reconfiguring - I think you're approaching it the right way by thinking about letting that part of yourself out to play and almost relaxing into (or accepting) the cycle of breaking down and breaking through.
Very exciting about the possible PhD proposal too! I worry that my post might come off as too negative about the process of doing a PhD but it truly was one of the best things I ever did - all that time and space to really dig into a research topic and explore all the pathways coming out of that 😍
It didn’t at all! I’m finding it fascinating and really helpful to read about the process and experience of doing a PhD, especially from within our community. I haven’t yet found a University that offers the combination of the access requirements, and Supervision in one of the subjects I need, so I’m literally soaking up everything I can, and loved reding about your experience.
One of the reason a PhD appeals so much is because of the process of self evolution involved towards a truer expression of the self/Self which is a central concept of Psychosynthesis 💕x
Doing a PhD certainly felt like a process of evolution, maybe mixed with some archaeology in terms of uncovering new or forgotten parts of myself! I agree with you - it's so important to find the right university and right supervisor for you and your project. I hope the process of exploring all the options is a rewarding one.
Such a great post, Ellen, and so much of it I was nodding my head along to as I was reading - so many experiences, feelings and frustrations that you put words to are all very very relatable. (As are seeing comments from others too, so thank you for bringing more of us together that way too)
I feel the same with how much of the ‘writing’ has actually taken its form in research, internet rabbit holes, building structures (and then dismantling them!), but I truly hope you’re able to celebrate those 70k words on the page - it’s incredible. Looking forward to seeing that book with your name on it on the shelf ❤️
Thanks as always Clare 🥰 I'll keep dreaming of that book on the shelf and (mostly) enjoying all the rabbit holes and diversions that keep cropping up along the way!
Great piece Ellen, thank-you. I had just missed the boat on Lily Dunn's course, and was a bit gutted, but good to hear it is going well. I need to look out for the next one. I loved her new book too, lots of helpful insight. I look forward to hearing more about your memoir, it is my favourite genre to read, I can't get seem to get enough.
Thank you Pam 🥰 Lily’s new book is a gem isn’t it? My copy is already covered in annotations and post it notes. Hope you can sign up for her course next time she offers it.
Great post Ellen - very relatable as always. I feel much the same about my current WIP - have done so much less than I thought I would in this year (and it is so so much less than you have achieved). Anyway - keep visualising that book with your name on it on your shelf!
Also - I now want to know more about that footnote immediately please 🙏🏻
Thanks Kate 🥰 This writing thing has so many lessons to teach about perseverance and patience and sheer bloody mindedness to keep going doesn't it?
Now onto the footnote! Briefly, because I might write about it in more detail next month: my great-great-great uncle Thomas Wells was convicted of murder and hanged in 1868 when he was just 18 years old. He worked as a porter at Dover Priory railway station and shot the station master in the head after being disciplined for having brought a gun to the station to scare off birds. The papers at the time portray him as a cold-blooded killer but the story my gran always told was that Thomas was 'a poor young boy' who the station master had treated badly for a long period of time.
Oh my goodness what a tragic story that is. I feel bad for pressing you for the ‘spoilers’ now 🫣. But if you are able to write about this it really does sound like an utterly compelling story and look back at this young man’s life. 18. He was still just a baby. 😢
I’ve been fascinated by his story for years - it’s partly the shock factor of the death penalty and his age, but also the sense that there’s a story there and that maybe I might be able to piece ‘the truth’ together somewhere between old family stories and the court proceedings.
I love this idea Ellen - It would be so powerful and it sounds like you have the stamina for the research with your background.
I recently read His Bloody Project which purports to weave together an ancestral story like this with court testimony / fictional retelling - although I think it’s pure fiction in the case of Burnet’s work. Have you read it? If not - worth a look.
I had not come across His Bloody Project, but have immediately requested it from the library - sounds right up my street and some clear parallels with my g-g-g uncle. Thanks Kate!
Oh great! Think you’ll love it - and it’s worth reading for its own sake too
We have *so* many parallels Ellen! I had also intended / hoped to have the first draft of my memoir done by the end of this year… there’s absolutely no chance of that happening. And I’ve only recently come to know that this is ok. Deadlines and goals are important, but also, I’ve never written a memoir before, so it’s learning while doing - and that’s going to take me as long as it takes. Permission slips flying all over the place 😂
And also, congratulations! You are doing so well! Writing 70,000 words and submitting to lit mags and getting published - so much worth celebrating!
I'm there with you Ingrid and it's so comforting to know I'm not alone! Yes to the very recent realisation that it's ok not to achieve the intention we set ourselves at the start of the year. And a full body YES to the idea of learning while doing - I hadn't thought about it in those terms, but that's it exactly 🙌
Thank you for the kind words also - somehow things always seem like less of a big deal to me once I've achieved them, like they become inevitable in retrospect.
Footnote 1! I’m hoping to hear more…
It’s lovely to be sharing Lily’s Compelling Memoir with you Ellen, and thank you for writing about your PhD and memoir writing process.
I’ve been working on a possible PhD proposal after being told I had identified an ‘original’ line of inquiry earlier in the year that my memoir would be part of. Both processes seem to be a spiral of being broken down, making break throughs, then repeat, but like you I’ve recently relaxed into the memoir writing unfolding in it’s own timeframe. It’s all new and my brain seems to be constantly re-configuring. I just need to make better notes for the potential commentary!
I’m registered for Lily’s Writing Workshops starting in November, Lindsay’s Writing From the Archives and working with Anna too. It’s exciting to let this part of myself out to play fully, finally, and see where it leads.
Thanks Jaimie - I'm loving Lily's course so far. I was hoping to sign up for her Writing Workshops starting next month also, but the budget doesn't stretch that far at the moment. Hopefully next year!
I recognise that feeling of your brain constantly reconfiguring - I think you're approaching it the right way by thinking about letting that part of yourself out to play and almost relaxing into (or accepting) the cycle of breaking down and breaking through.
Very exciting about the possible PhD proposal too! I worry that my post might come off as too negative about the process of doing a PhD but it truly was one of the best things I ever did - all that time and space to really dig into a research topic and explore all the pathways coming out of that 😍
It didn’t at all! I’m finding it fascinating and really helpful to read about the process and experience of doing a PhD, especially from within our community. I haven’t yet found a University that offers the combination of the access requirements, and Supervision in one of the subjects I need, so I’m literally soaking up everything I can, and loved reding about your experience.
One of the reason a PhD appeals so much is because of the process of self evolution involved towards a truer expression of the self/Self which is a central concept of Psychosynthesis 💕x
Doing a PhD certainly felt like a process of evolution, maybe mixed with some archaeology in terms of uncovering new or forgotten parts of myself! I agree with you - it's so important to find the right university and right supervisor for you and your project. I hope the process of exploring all the options is a rewarding one.
Such a great post, Ellen, and so much of it I was nodding my head along to as I was reading - so many experiences, feelings and frustrations that you put words to are all very very relatable. (As are seeing comments from others too, so thank you for bringing more of us together that way too)
I feel the same with how much of the ‘writing’ has actually taken its form in research, internet rabbit holes, building structures (and then dismantling them!), but I truly hope you’re able to celebrate those 70k words on the page - it’s incredible. Looking forward to seeing that book with your name on it on the shelf ❤️
Thanks as always Clare 🥰 I'll keep dreaming of that book on the shelf and (mostly) enjoying all the rabbit holes and diversions that keep cropping up along the way!
Looking forward to catching up and seeing you on the screen on Thursday with Lindsay - I can’t wait! X
Great piece Ellen, thank-you. I had just missed the boat on Lily Dunn's course, and was a bit gutted, but good to hear it is going well. I need to look out for the next one. I loved her new book too, lots of helpful insight. I look forward to hearing more about your memoir, it is my favourite genre to read, I can't get seem to get enough.
Thank you Pam 🥰 Lily’s new book is a gem isn’t it? My copy is already covered in annotations and post it notes. Hope you can sign up for her course next time she offers it.