This is so beautiful Ellen. I loved the raw honesty, the little girl, big girl paradox that we can all relate to, and I liked the structure and rhythm. I’ve yet to lose my mother and I’m dreading it, but I do know decades old grief that morphs and shifts but never goes. Xx
Ellen, I’m in tears. Thank you for sharing this heartfelt letter with us. I’m so, so sorry. As you’ll know, I can relate to so much of the feeling and so many of these experiences. But I’ve never seen it put into words so perfectly. I’m carrying my worn-smooth stone along with you. Sending you lots of love xx
A beautiful honouring of your mum and your grief for her. No final conversations for me and my mum either, and the things we don’t know can be harder than the ones we do. Sending love on this milestone anniversary x
Ah, Ellen. Such a beautiful letter to your Mum. I recognise that journey so well - I too travelled from the north east numerous times down South to find a sleeping Mum, an awake Mum and finally a Mum who was gone. Tough times indeed. Sending love on this tenth anniversary.
Ellen. This is not only beautifully written, of course, full of craft and your command of the story you want to tell but also so filled with love. Thank you for writing this and sharing it. A great deal to ponder around language, time, preparation for the end. Particularly affected by the way you received the letter written to 21 year old you, as well as the way you recount those final visits in reverse. As though the tumour is getting smaller not larger. Gorgeous. Xxx
“Your death was the roots being scraped out of the world.” Beautiful, powerful writing Ellen, thank you for sharing it with us. I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum in this way.
I think the refusal of a part of our brains to ever really accept or “come to terms with” something is such an important sign of our humanity.
Thank you, Ellen. I’m approaching a 10 year anniversary of my own and can relate to so much of what you’ve shared here. “Looking at me, you wouldn’t be able to tell I was carrying anything at all, I’ve folded it down so small and tucked it away out of sight in my back pocket.” Just beautiful, and resonant 💛
This is so beautiful Ellen. I loved the raw honesty, the little girl, big girl paradox that we can all relate to, and I liked the structure and rhythm. I’ve yet to lose my mother and I’m dreading it, but I do know decades old grief that morphs and shifts but never goes. Xx
Ellen, I’m in tears. Thank you for sharing this heartfelt letter with us. I’m so, so sorry. As you’ll know, I can relate to so much of the feeling and so many of these experiences. But I’ve never seen it put into words so perfectly. I’m carrying my worn-smooth stone along with you. Sending you lots of love xx
A beautiful honouring of your mum and your grief for her. No final conversations for me and my mum either, and the things we don’t know can be harder than the ones we do. Sending love on this milestone anniversary x
Ah, Ellen. Such a beautiful letter to your Mum. I recognise that journey so well - I too travelled from the north east numerous times down South to find a sleeping Mum, an awake Mum and finally a Mum who was gone. Tough times indeed. Sending love on this tenth anniversary.
Ellen. This is not only beautifully written, of course, full of craft and your command of the story you want to tell but also so filled with love. Thank you for writing this and sharing it. A great deal to ponder around language, time, preparation for the end. Particularly affected by the way you received the letter written to 21 year old you, as well as the way you recount those final visits in reverse. As though the tumour is getting smaller not larger. Gorgeous. Xxx
“Your death was the roots being scraped out of the world.” Beautiful, powerful writing Ellen, thank you for sharing it with us. I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum in this way.
I think the refusal of a part of our brains to ever really accept or “come to terms with” something is such an important sign of our humanity.
Sending you love on this anniversary.
Thank you, Ellen. I’m approaching a 10 year anniversary of my own and can relate to so much of what you’ve shared here. “Looking at me, you wouldn’t be able to tell I was carrying anything at all, I’ve folded it down so small and tucked it away out of sight in my back pocket.” Just beautiful, and resonant 💛
This is beautiful Ellen. It made me wonder if you often write to her and if this helps at all. X